Given only these non-healthy options, which single serving drink is healthiest?

Red is, of course, healthiest...and all in moderation.

Wine is probably the healthiest, but I'd like to make the case for beer--the number one choice of military and labour forces throughout history; from the ancient Egyptians to the armies and navies of the British Empire. A good heavy beer is loaded with vitamins and carbs; and will keep you going as long as you don't drink too much of it. It's like drinking a pint of multigrain bread!