New US Law to Require All Written Words Be Read

Doris Moore was shocked when her new couch was delivered to her Toronto home with a label that used a racial slur to describe the dark brown shade of the upholstery. The Chinese firm that makes the couch uses a Chinese-to-English translation program by Kingsoft for its labels, which they claim generated the "n-word." Upon realizing the error, Kingsoft apologized to Ms. Moore.

Moore, who is black, was not receptive of the apology. "They should know what they are typing, even if it is a software error," she said. "In order for something to come into the country, don't they read it first? Doesn't the manufacturer? The supplier?"

It seems Ms. Moore's feeling didn't fall on deaf ears. Despite her Canadian citizenship, the US Congress went on the offensive and promptly passed a bill endorsed by the president to make it mandatory that all written words entering the US be read. President Bush received cheers as he stated that, "This is the first time in our history we've ever heard of a poor Chinese to English translation. I for one will not tolerate this deliberate attack. I'm creating a surge force to guard our borders against any and all potential written words that might come into our country and offend us by accident or mistake."

It may be too little, too late, though. As Ms. Moore put so succinctly, "someone needs to apologize to all people of color ... I had friends over from St. Lucia yesterday and they wouldn't sit on the couch." It would seem that the irreparable damage is done. Meanwhile, the couch manufacturer has added two additional shifts to rework its inventory of fake Jersey whore tan ottomans and inexpensive, multi-use, dirty Mexican armoires.