Happy 1st Birthday OmniNerd!!!

If you intend to write a comment for a chance to win the mug, please use the "Reply to this Post" link directly below the news post (i.e., don't post your comment as a reply to another comment). Comments competing for the coveted mug will be left with a default score of 2 until next week when all posts are reviewed. Good luck, and may the best nerd win!

O-Nerd has not changed my life in any way, and will never change my life. I do enjoy taking the polls though.

How has Omninerd changed my life? It all started when my husband became a moderator for the site. He spends so much time reading, commenting, editing, emailing, instant messaging, holding weekly meetings, researching and posting, all in the name of Omninerd, that our young marriage is already holding on by a thread. I thought there would be a lifetime of hardship and child rearing before we started neglecting each other. Happy Birthday Omninerd!

Although I'm not eligible for the prize (as I'm a moderator), I thought I'd throw in my response to 'How OmniNerd has changed my life' just for kicks:

It all started when I became a moderator for the site. I spent so much time reading, commenting, editing, emailing, instant messaging, holding weekly meetings, researching and posting, all in the name of OmniNerd, that my young marriage is already holding on by a thread. I thought there would be a lifetime of hardship and child rearing before we started neglecting each other.

a year ago I lived in a dumpster in New Orleans, subsisting on the scraps and leavings of a decadent society. One day while bathing myself in the toilet of a local Exon station I saw a tall, athletic young man with blonde hair, blue eyes, and impecable grooming wearing an Omninerd t-shirt. I looked up the website at the local library where I sometimes slept. The website was so brilliant with it's nerdiness and clever/not so clever remarks that I thought: "What else is out there?" I cleaned up my act and enrolled in the local university and found out there is nothing else out there. Thank you Omninerd.

I'm not competing for the mug (since I already own one... it's so sweet), but I thought I'd share with you the history of o-nerd that you won't find on the "About" page.

It all started one Saturday morning in June of 2004. Will and I had just woken up after a hard night of drinking. We stumbled into the kitchen around 11 am to drink water and look for food. About that time, our third roommate Ryan walked in the front door, just getting back from the gym. I could tell by the look on his face that something was wrong, something bad. He looked at me and with hesistation asked, "Dude, why is there a dead clown in our yard?"

Suddenly my mind was racing. My brain started chugging through the bits and pieces of an alcoholic blur, but nothing came to mind. A clown? I didn't remember any clowns from the previous night but maybe the booze had erased the memory. That's when Will chimed in, "Oh, #@$*!" He then rambled off a quick, nonsensical story about a this girl he'd met in the nightclub who worked as the bearded lady in the circus. Apparently, I drank too much too quickly, passed out, and he put me in a cab to go home. Once I was gone, he embarked on a passionate journey with his newfound bearded lover.

As the two laid in bed, each smoking a satisfying cigarette, she told Will of her husband and her unhappiness. Will knew what he had to do. He left the bearded lady in bed and told her to stay there, she'd not have to worry about this clown any longer.

Will wouldn't say any more. Ryan and I stood there looking at him in disbelief. As Ryan started to panic a little, I calmed him down and said, "Dude, we've got to take care of this." So we formulated an infallible plan. We stripped him naked, powdered his nose with some of Will's left over cocaine, and threw him in the dumpster. As we walked away, Ryan said with confidence, "they'll never question that." And he was right. It was a big cover up for the city. No mayor wants a clown to die of cocaine overdose on their watch. Such an event would mean certain political death. And so this clown just went missing. Never to be seen again.

Will called the bearded lady later that day and told her that things just weren't going to work out. She was sad, but she didn't cry because she knew the deed that Will had done for her. Slowly, and with a blank stare on his face, Will hung up the phone. He knew he had just walked away from the best thing that had ever happened to him, but he acknowledged the circumstances and let it be. I could see him wipe a tear from his eye as he turned around to pretend that everything was alright. I looked at him and said, "Dude, wanna start the sweetest website ever?"

"Right on bro. Right on," he replied.

This is an interesting account of these events, but I seem to remember it slightly differently...

I had just returned from the Himalayas, my training as a ninja finally complete (yes, just like Batman. They actually stole that from me). Anyway, I returned on that Sunday to find Mark lying in a pool of his own vomit. His half-naked form stunk of whiskey and crepes. Mark remains to this day a self-destructive french pastry junky. After I had cleared his bed of several rotten pastrami sandwiches and Mr. Bean pogs, I picked Mark up using just my telekinetic powers and placed him under the covers. I invoked the tiger spirit to protect him while he slumbered. Then I ventured out to the living room.

As I stepped out of Mark's room Ryan came running headlong towards me. He screamed in shrill tones, "There's a dead clown in the front yard!" I looked past him through the open door to see that there was indeed a clown lying in the yard, a large curved knife lodged in his festive back. I quickly put Ryan to sleep using an ancient neck tap known to very few these days. I knew that his panic would only worsen the situation.

I deftly moved outside to investigate the problem. I had faced much evil during my time in the Orient, but I thought I had escaped those days. It would seem, however, that evil times have a way of following a man like me. Such is my lot. I crept outside and looked at the knife. I immediately recognized it as a Gurkha dagger forged in the high mountains of Nepal. My predicament was now clear. The Dunga clan, my old enemies from the snow-capped peaks, had followed me back to Colorado. The many defeats I had dealt them were obviously too much for their tribal honor to bear. I assumed the blue scorpion battle stance and prepared to meet my foes.

In less than a moment they were upon me. Twelve fiery Gurkhas incensed with rage swarmed about me like so many angry bees. I darted to and fro, keeping them at bay with a well-timed series of chops and kicks. I moved like a jungle cat but still they came on. I then entered into my much feared death blossom maneuver. Eleven of the intractable dwarfs were down in a second. Only one remained, their dread leader - Ruppa the Corpulent. I side-stepped his furious knife attack which allowed me to reel back and land the final blow. My kick immediately separated Ruppa's head from his fat body. The disembodied orb flew across the street landing in the neighbor's basketball hoop - nothing but net.

I walked back to the house to find Mark and Ryan both standing in the door way. They had each awoken in time to watch my martial prowess. They thanked me profusely for saving their lives. They knew that the Gurkhas would have killed them if I had not been there. Both Mark and Ryan pledged to me that they would give me their first born as recompense for their debt, but I, being a great and merciful warrior, forswore all payment. I returned to my meditation as Mark and Ryan disposed of the body of the clown. Poor, poor innocent clown.

Later that same day Mark came and kowtowed before me. I bid him rise and asked him to name his request. He stated the following, "Oh master ninja, let us channel your great and deadly force into the internet. We can create a webpage full of your potent energy." After a moment's consideration I said, "What you have said I have found good. We will make this page and call it OmniNerd. So let it be written, so let it be done."

Ok people, I know OmniNerd has had a HUGE affect on your lives. Here are some quotes from private emails that I have received over the past few months:

"OmniNerd is sooooo cool. I can't believe no one thought of this before. You guys should get Nobel Prizes or something."

"Wow, before I started reading OmniNerd my life was a total sham. Thanks so much for saving me from an otherwise meaningless existence!"

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but reading/contributing to OmniNerd is way better than sex!"

"I sit alone in my room all day in the dark. I don't have any friends and I never go outside. I used to feel lonely, but now I know that the soft glow of Mark's picture provides all the human contact I need. Thanks OmniNerd."

"Attention Earthling. My name is Grevlak the Interstellar Despot. I had planned to blast your insignificant planet to smithereens, but my intelligence droids discovered OmniNerd a few days ago. I will spare your world only for this site's sake."

As you can see OmiNerd has been amazingly influential over the past year. I know you people are out there and we need some competition for this mug.

How has Omninerd changed my life you ask? I answer not to tell you the difference O-nerd has made in my life, how I once got high all the time, weighed 500lbs, and washed my dishes in the bathrub. Nay! Nor will I regail you with how I now have a sweet lookin’ fiancé, a sweet boat, an entertainment center and a new brain because of Omninerd. Indeed, I answer because I feel I must. There are many out there (I won’t point fingers or poo sticks for that matter) who simply don’t pay attention to their surroundings. Omninerd is clearly part of a larger plan. Let’s recap the past year shall we?

June 5, 2004 – Ronald Reagan dies

June 17, 2004 – Clown, no longer with us

June 17, 2004 – Will becomes a ninja

November 11, 2004 – Yasser Arafat, dead

January 23, 2005 – Johnny Carson is pushing up daisies

February 20, 2005 – Sandra Dee (Gidget) passes away

April 2, 2005 Pope John Paul II dies (I hope this one doesn’t come as a surprise, if so . . I’m sorry you had to find out this way.)

I think it’s pretty clear that Omninerd is simply a front for the creators of O-nerd to become ninjas and overthrow world governments and popular sitcoms. You might say, “Ronald Reagan died before the creation of Omninerd. How do you explain that?” You might also be smoking crack! Everyone knows that a test pilot assassination is needed, take out a top dog and the rest will fall like dominoes. I’m telling you the world changing right before your eyes is a direct result of Ominerd. Look out O-nerd, you’re being watched!

There once was a time when I was just your average human being: 5'10, 185 lbs, brown hair, blue eyes, a job, a girl, and a dog. I didn't pay for newspapers or magazines: way too expensive. Television was either too far right or too far left; and the in between was like watching golf without any commentators. Everywhere I looked, things were average, boring. And by things I mean things! Books were books, cars were cars, people were people, Joe was Joe, and PT was PT. In essence: Life was Life.

But then came OmniNerd!

Life became LIFE. And by LIFE, I mean LIFE! PT became SWEETNESS, Joe became Jo-mamma, people had smiles and frowns, bearded hands and Gurkha knifes, cars had 24 inch spinners, and books had pages, with WORDS, and the words made sense....sometimes. Everywhere I looked, things were wicked pissah, HOT, Icy Hot! Even Golf was interesting. Especially the "Physics of Golf"! Television was High Def and Tim McCarver wasn't too awful to listen to, even during the World Series. Hannity and Colmes just made sense and Google and Apple made ME cents! I even understand how Google works now, let alone internet pages. Mars somehow seems closer now, but not as close as some asteroid. I've even scheduled a trip to Antartica. I talk to friends on my Kellogg 1000 instead of my cellie and I even enjoy Soy Milk.....haha, just kidding about that last one! No longer am I your average joe. In fact I recently pondered registering a new login name, milhous II despite my decreasing NerdRank (I really am not trying to circumvent the system, honestly).

I now stand at an impressive 6'1 and 3/4's on my toes and weigh-in at 215 lbs, my dog is a rat, my woman a bodacious blonde and my job still sucks, but my hair is thick and full and my eyes are pools of blue topaz (eh.... it sounded good). Ah yes,..Life since OmniNerd has definitely become LIFE!

And if you don't agree, well then you haven't been reading OmniNerd much and you SUCK!

best site on the web. Informative.

All you naysayers need to wise up.

super66