Expert Web Analysis on Petraeus Report

Recently a thoughtfully unbiased, yet deeply sophisticated analysis of GEN Petraeus' report to Congress was posted at the well-known, non-partisan political blog, To Iniquity, and Beyond: News from a lunatic-infested dirt clod, entitled "PetraeBusH Quagmire Surge Gains Traction." Among the essential observations missed by most other political analysts were the following two journalistic jems:

• GEN Petraeus struggled to "decipher Cheney’s prepared propaganda (I always use this razorblade...on my face...to shave...it)," and
• Petraeus, as "Bush’s top military stooge" managed to "squeeze in a neo-con internets paranoia attack, arguing that since the bad guys have laptops, the only evidence of true democracy must be censored and dismantled as an evil device in the service of evil evildoers and the evil evildoing dogs who support them."

The analysis, which is expected by many Washington insiders to be scrutinized by politicians on both sides of the aisle, also contained a rundown of the report's aftermath. It noted:

• "McCain led witnesses along in a Pollyanna proclamation that all will be well in Iraq so long as we stay the course of fomenting hopeless chaos throughout the Middle East,"
• "In his whining, agonizing and supremely irritating way, dipshit Joe Lieberman referred to the mostly urban chaos as ‘the battlefield’," and finally
• "The usual cast of rogues and scoundrels played their stereotypical roles, droning along in a pretense of competency. A hackneyed, yet ever requisite, buttering up of ‘the troops’ was interrupted only by a mutual kissing of ass."

Truly, political insights worthy of Niccolò Machiavelli.

In a related matter, psychologists worry the end of the Bush Administration in 2009 will cause great mental distress to those who've invested so much time, energy, and emotion (not to mention Photoshop skill) into nurturing near-obsessive hatred of the President and his cabinet. Once deprived of the man who gives their lives so much meaning and focus, many of these may fall into a deep depression - or even worse, slip into a fantasy world where Bush still secretly controls the world. On a more positive note, others may learn to cope and possible even move out of their parent's basement and get jobs.