European Week in Review

She's the home of Bach, of Churchill, of Tolstoy; indeed the heartland of Western culture. This week has been no different for Europe, once again outdoing herself on all fronts. Germany, the economic and scientific powerhouse of the continent, disturbed by declining reproduction among its captive shark population, put her best minds to work. In no time German scientists, making the zoological discovery of the century, determined the key to aquatic love - the smooth and original sound of Justin Timberlake. Gute Arbeit! In France the gendarme has arrested a 16-year old for illegally translating the latest Harry Potter book into French within days of its release, making remarkably few mistakes in the process; an event demonstrating both police effectiveness and consummate French literary skill. Elsewhere, in a move that will undoubtedly ruffle no feathers, Netherland MP Geert Wilders is calling for a ban on the sale and distribution of the Koran. A telegram sent from Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten, but written in some advanced European cypher, read "ixnay yingtray otay anbay ethay orankay. usttray usway." Informed Dutch voters were unconcerned. All in all, a good week for the Europeans, who remain, as always, much smarter than everyone else.