Congressman Discovers Alien Plot

From time to time our forbears told us that the tree of liberty must be refreshed with the blood of patriots. At other times we are reminded that the vigilance of the press is essential to an honest government. But all of these aphorisms mean nothing if the very White House itself is infiltrated by an alien race! Lucky for us, congressional leaders are anything but asleep at the wheel. David Wu (D-OR) has uncovered a sinister plot brewing in the Bush administration and it was his immense knowledge of Gene Roddenberry's Star Trek that allowed him to make the discovery. According to this plucky leader and brilliant orator, our foreign policy is being set by a group of aliens who were, in fact, first posing as Vulcans, but, as Wu, has learned are actually some manner of "faux klingon,'' a discovery he made due to the apparent impersonal bellicosity of the aliens in question. The world is, of course, shocked by Wu's discovery and it has led to rampant speculation as to the real race of the aliens among us. The prevailing theory is that the "faux klingons" are Romulans, since they are the most cunning of our known alien adversaries. Congress is set to convene a special panel of alien experts to get to the bottom of the nefarious attempt to sow dissent among humans, leaving the galaxy all but undefended.