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Pet Racism

While I welcome these measures, I think it very irresponsible of our leaders to focus entirely on human racism and attempt to sweep the issue of racist pets under the carpet; Alsatians are notorious for their aggression towards black citizens and I can personally avow that I once saw a goldfish give a distinctly unfriendly look to a Pakistani.
We must implement a Pet Diversity Awareness Centre in every town and ensure that every pet is brought to receive improving lessons at these centres monthly, with pet-ownership licences contingent on attendance and stiff penalties for owners who neglect their duty to Fight The Scourge of Racism.
Pavlovian training techniques can be employed to punish racist conduct and reinforce the association between positive sensations and diversity.
Some may feel that this is a step too far – but what could be more important than to Fight The Scourge of Racism? After all, we already do the same for our children.

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