The first verse mentions Lobsterbacks, a slang term used by Revolutionary forces to describe British soldiers in the War for Independence. From this, the lyric about watching CNN, wrapping stuff in aluminum, and satellites, I’d hazard a guess that the first verse is about getting paranoid from watching the news.

I have no idea what or who the three dogs mentioned in the second verse represent, nor the crane that flies into the window. "Shadow of the New Praetorian"- the Praetorian were the elite bodyguards of the Caesar in Ancient Rome, thus, shadow of the new elite? The references to fields Elysian, the Holy Ghost, and Saturnalia suggests a new religion (of the elite?) and I think the reference to "The seven habits of the highly infected calf" is about the Golden Calf of the Exodus story, and as Brandon said there is that famous book "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People"…

I think this song is railing against "Big Business" or "Corporate America", calling them a new religion for the elite. "Swan diving off the tongues of crippled giants" might mean those business execs who jumped to their deaths during the Great Depression (or any time a business goes South.) It is accusing the business world of dumbing down "the last of academe". I’m not sure what most of the rest of the imagery means, but maybe someone can pick up the ball (if my interpretation seems correct.}