Hard to be young and a witness of something from the 19th century.

I can’t speak for what the daughter wanted, but I’m glad you’re talking about this in terms of complex family relationships and putting the power in the bride/grooms’ hands.

People all over the world have dreams of what they want their wedding to be. Some choose to fly to exotic places knowing that only a select handful will be able to join them. Some choose to elope and have no one there at all. Some choose to have multiple weddings to make things easy on dispersed family/friends. In all cases I hope those around the newlyweds are able to support them in what makes them happy. (I can testify from first-hand experience that this does happen. My wife is the only church member in her family.) It is, after all, not their wedding.