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Church of Magical Electric Turtle pwns all of you heathens!!
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Since the foundation of the Church of Magical Electric Turtle in all his glorious green and brown colors, his warmth, his claws, his shells, and his nose, the ultimate answer has been found. Look no more, no more poor sheeps for your turtle lord is here to guide you to the right path!! Scientology got nothing on CMET[Church of Magical Electric Turtle]!! :D
-EOS