Short skirts, Moonboots and Gangsta Rap

Yeah, those DMGs (dancing moonboot girls) were hilarious. It's odd how they usually had short skirts but poofy jackets. In other words, their clothes emphasized their legs, not their breasts - effectively playing to strengths of the race, I guess, as the Korean men were mesmerized.

Some DMGs set up right outside a church building I was in once, which was rented space on a second floor. As I walked by a window, I noticed there was a guy in his early twenties standing on the opposite side of the large alley-type street staring at the DMGs, and even starting to get into his own little wiggle. It was an odd scene - I mean, it's one thing to see DMGs in the middle of a shee-jang (downtown area) packed with people, but it's completely different (and much more hilarious) to see just them and one guy staring at a distance of about 20 feet.

About the "gangsta rap" stuff you heard, I bet it was H.O.T. mentioned in the poll - well, either them, G.O.D., or some other band made up of one tough-looking dude who had been to the U.S., memorized as much Ice Cube as he could, then returned to Korea to recruit 3-4 effeminate guys (that's the way the Korean girls like them) to form a rapping boy band. I saw one of these bands in concert for about 15 minutes at a huge festival in some city in Kyoung-Sang-Book-Do. Flippin' hilarious.

Back to crazy Korean women essentially selling themselves, did you see any of the tea girls who ride around on scooters - either by themselves or perched on the back? In Pusan (2nd largest city in South Korea) sah-too-ree (dialect), they were called "O-bong soo-nee." Lazy Korean men would sit around in their shops and order these girls to deliver them tea - and provide an object for no small amount of sexual harassment, I'm sure.

Once, when I went to get my haircut, I walked in on the barber sitting in the tiny, dark shop on the couch with a tea girl. Quickly assessing the situation (I'm pretty sure he was trying to get her to kiss him), I stepped back out and closed the sliding door. He must have seen me, because he immediately started calling, "Come in! Come in!" I went back in to see him stand up, zip up his fly, and give the not-too-happy tea girl some cash. This is a married guy with kids, here... Sad, because he gave decent haircuts (using no scissors, only clippers and a comb) - something difficult to find over there.

Another time, it was early Christmas morning and I was about to call home when there was a knock at the door. I answered to find one of these tea girls on the doorstep. When she saw it was a gringo (borrowing the joke from The Office), she said "Oh mah-ee gahd" (more Konglish for you) and looked as if she would drop her tea set and run. Regaining her composure, however, she bowed slightly and started to come in. I refused her and said the only thing I could think of, "Ahn-sheekyo-seo-yo," the equivalent of "I didn't order you." It probably wasn't the technically correct thing to say, but I didn't have any experience in tea girl dealings, being a missionary. Having her mind re-blown by hearing the gringo speak Korean, she startled, and then headed back down the apartment stairs. I don't know if she had the wrong apartment or if someone thought it'd be nice to send us a tea girl for Christmas (maybe there are high class, non-prostitutish ones?), but it was hilarious.