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Charles The MF'n Hammer
Think about how cool Charles Martel's name actually is. First, it's French and still sounds bad-ass-- now don't get me wrong, French is a great language for poetry, cooking, and to aid in panty removal, but it doesn't lend itslelf well to bad-ass. Second, imagine how how got the nickname "The Hammer"-- fellow soldiers saw him whooping up on the Muslim invaders at the Battle of Tours and said (I'm paraphrasing) "Dude! Charlie is laying the smack down like a mother f%#@ing HAMMER!" "Tru-dat! Yo, Chuck! From henceforth you are to known as Charles the Mother F%#@ing Hammer"
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