Deciphering Burning Beard

The only sense I can make of this after a once-over is the play off of Steven Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effected People" in the last line of the chorus.

The first verse mentions Lobsterbacks, a slang term used by Revolutionary forces to describe British soldiers in the War for Independence. From this, the lyric about watching CNN, wrapping stuff in aluminum, and satellites, I'd hazard a guess that the first verse is about getting paranoid from watching the news.

I have no idea what or who the three dogs mentioned in the second verse represent, nor the crane that flies into the window. "Shadow of the New Praetorian"- the Praetorian were the elite bodyguards of the Caesar in Ancient Rome, thus, shadow of the new elite? The references to fields Elysian, the Holy Ghost, and Saturnalia suggests a new religion (of the elite?) and I think the reference to "The seven habits of the highly infected calf" is about the Golden Calf of the Exodus story, and as Brandon said there is that famous book "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People"...

I think this song is railing against "Big Business" or "Corporate America", calling them a new religion for the elite. "Swan diving off the tongues of crippled giants" might mean those business execs who jumped to their deaths during the Great Depression (or any time a business goes South.) It is accusing the business world of dumbing down "the last of academe". I'm not sure what most of the rest of the imagery means, but maybe someone can pick up the ball (if my interpretation seems correct.}

Aren't you looking into this song a little too much. You are over-analyzing the song. If it's a poem, the words might mean something, but it's just a song. You should realize by now that modern day songs contain no meaning whatsoever. The author of the song obviously tried to make the line rhyme.

[I mean seriously, does the author know what Occam's razor really mean?]

My first impression is the same one I get when I read those Spam e-mails that have the computer generated gibberish along the bottom, but actually after reading it, and looking around…

same 3 dogs

cranes (irony?)

burning beard

Elysium is an obscure and mysterious name that evolved from a designation of a place or person struck by lightning according to Wikipedia,

Saturnalia

I still see no connection. I’ll keep trying. (I hope this wasn’t just spam filler put to music.)

It’s not just modern day lyrics that give the impression of fever dreams. Poets such as Dylan Thomas and e.e cummings for example:

nonsun blob

a cold to

skylessness

sticking fire

my are your

are birds our all

and one gone

away the they

leaf of ghosts some

few creep there

here or on

unearth

This even has a name apparantly – deviant morphology which seems a fairly fitting name.

Many songs from the late 60’s and early 70’s; even mainstream bands like Yes seemed to apply this poetic imagery without a clear overall meaning to their lyrics.

And let’s not forget Captain Beefheart. (This guy even paints too, Brandon.)

It is not the lyrics but the mood being communicated. Trying to figure them out is like trying to reason with Bush.

A song playing on common religious (mis)concepts and socio-human paranoia. An excellent song to play bass to as well! I've broken it down into lines of lyrics and explanations following immediately after.

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Every day I wake up we drink a lot of coffee and watch the CNN

Typical beginning to most of American days

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Every day I wake up to a bowl of clover honey and let the locusts fly in

Euphanism for inviting the end of times

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Lobsterbacks attack the town again

Repeating of history reaching back to the days of the Redcoats. Take your pick of current events.

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Wrap all my things in aluminum

The belief that government and alien forces are reading our thoughts, and that aluminum foil will deflect the effects. A swan song for the paranoid.

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Beams of darkness streak across the sky

Alien craft.

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Pink rays from the ancient satellite

The "Ancient Satellite" is another name for our moon.

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Every time I look out my window same three dogs looking back at me

a.k.a. Cerberus, three-headed dog of the underworld, ensuring that once souls entered the realm of Hel (one L), they were trapped indefinitely.

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Every time I open my windows cranes fly in to terrorize me

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The power of the Holy Ghost

Holy Ghost = Religious and Moral Majority.

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The power of the Holy Ghost

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Shadow of the New Praetorian

Already addressed several times in other posted replies.

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Tipping cows in fields Elysian

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Saturnalia for all you have

Saturnalia is the old festival from which Christmas took most of its ritual. Contrary to popular belief, the old ways went that the god Saturn, adorned in red, would descend upon of persons home, leaving either gifts or punishments. This all centered around how that individual acted throughout the year and what offerings were left for Saturn. Such things can be found in Santa's Naughty or Nice list, and the leaving of cookies and milk.

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The seven habits of the highly infected calf

Actions of the religious as per dictum of their own version of god worship.

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Swan diving off the tongues of crippled giants

Originally from Monk John of Salisbury in the 11th century, stated again in a letter by Sir Isaac Newton to Robert Hooke in reference to the advancement of science and his own personal brilliance: "If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants."

Obviously diving head first in the opposite direction, that back towards religious superstition and complete disregard of reason through the misconstrued words of those "Crippled Giants" in the science community. (case in point, breakthroughs in stem cell research being outlawed for reasons of religious fervor.)

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International Business Machine

The church

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Choking on bits of barley bread crumbs

Once used as sacrifice to Gods, such as in Lammas, or Bread festival, with which the last grains of the harvest were made into loaves of bread and offered for a greater harvest the following year.

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Oh this burning beard I have come undone

The mistranslation around 12 century of Moses' "Burning Bush" was found to actually be "Burning Beard" in recent re-translations. Symbolic of direct communication with God. Getting the story straight from the horse's mouth as it were. Not at all surprising, the state of "Religious Ecstasy" and "Insanity" are often very close together. Hence coming undone.

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It's just as I've feared. I have, I have come undone

See above.

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Bugger dumb the last of academe

Destruction of reason and any organization that lauds it.

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Occam's razor makes the cutting clean

Theory that the simple answer is normally the correct one.

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Shaven like a banker, lilac vegetal

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Break the glass ceiling and golden parachute on down

In reference to "What Color is your Parachute", authored by Richard Nelson Bolles

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The power of the Holy Ghost comes to town

Effect of the Moral Majority in your personal life

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Shadow of the New Praetorian

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Tipping cows in fields Elysian

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Saturnalia for all you have

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The seven habits of the highly infected calf

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Hope you enjoyed this.

I'm not sure of every reference, but from what I piece together in the song is that he's trying to use nationalism and religion to spark or continue war.

Elysian is mentioned in the movie Gladiator, something about if you find yourself lying in green pastures, don't worry you are already dead...blah blah blah and you are in elysium.

The seven habits refers to the seven deadly sins.

And yes the song writer knows what Occam's theory is. Its a pretty simple concept.

I could be wrong but the 3 dogs could be the holy trinity(Father,Son,Holy Ghost) because when he says "the power of the Holy Ghost" in the back ground, just after it, I hear "woof woof woof". I'm not sure it could just be a reference to the "power of the Holy Ghost" dogging you or what not. just a thought