Global Orgasm For World Peace

Anti-War activists Donna Sheehan (no relation to Cindy), 76, and Paul Reffell, 55 have declared December 22 as a day for all those who oppose war the world over to have an orgasm while focusing on world peace.

"The orgasm gives out an incredible feeling of peace during it and after it," Reffell said, "Your mind is like a blank. It’s like a meditative state. And mass meditations have been shown to make a change." The couple have studied evolutionary psychology and believe that war is mainly an outgrowth of men trying to impress potential mates: "my missile is bigger than your missile," as Reffell put it. This theory puts them at odds with, well, everyone else who has studied history, or at least watched the History Channel once.

Nevertheless, the couple already has a large number of Internet porn surfing single men over the age of thirty still living in their parents’ basements who are all but guaranteed to participate, even if they know nothing of the planned event.

When asked if the insurgency would participate in the Global Orgasm for Peace event, Abu Ayyub al-Masri, the head of Al Qaeda in Iraq responded with, "Man, we are so going to win this war."