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The State of Society

A man at war with the world is at war with himself first. Peace begins on the inside and works out.

We live in a seething world that provokes war - a world of bullets and bombs; of philosophies, cultures and opinions; and of words. We are increasingly polarized; the right moves further right, the left moves further left, and the reasonable center is stretched thin; husbands and wives drift into separate worlds; children isolate themselves with technology; inner-cities and suburbs live in dramatically different cultures; and fundamentalism finds ears for its harsh rhetoric in the disenfranchised.

There are those who say violent conflict is inevitable given the human condition and have given up on peace. For others, it's unclear whether any one person can make a difference anymore. What is clear to everyone is the world is getting smaller, much smaller. Media sources, driven by scores of orbiting satellites, now flash the news within seconds of event impact. Counter-attacks are planned, not weeks or months from provocation after tempers cool and thoughtful heads prevail, but within minutes or hours, when adrenaline, anger and hate are sharp. Weapons, whether military, social, or emotional, are much more sophisticated, much more destructive.

Fueling the conflict is a widening gulf between the wealthy and the poor. Those without advocacy are regressing, and have very little to lose. Is it any wonder a father resorts to violence when no work is forthcoming, no food is available for his family, no home is affordable, and no one seems to care? Is it any wonder a mother loses all hope as famine, disease and civil unrest crush her wish for a better future for her children?

Paradoxically, the developed world is enjoying a standard of living unparalleled in human history. Happiness, however, has never been so elusive, joy so difficult to find. At home, the breakup of marriages and families is on a sprinting pace, with no let-up in sight. Love and fulfillment seem to be measured by to whom we can attach ourselves to extract what we want. Earn more, have more, buy more. Happiness is perceived as a product of status, wealth, debt, social acceptance, fame, and leisure. Business runs just in front of a wave of investor impatience and discontent, and vision extends barely beyond the next quarterly report. Stress is on the rise, the cause of more heart attacks than heredity, malnutrition, and a lack of exercise combined.

Under these influences, personal peace is swept away in favor of grabbing a piece of the pie. We’re selling our soul. We've become an outside-in culture. What can I buy that will provide me inner satisfaction?

Perhaps more than at any other time in human history, peace, both personal and social, must be considered with new vigor, new vision, and new determination. Peace must be pursued through a sustainable framework, one that outlives the transient effects of circumstantial change, interpersonal compromise, and international treaty.

Individuals, families, organizations and nations all struggle with problems which may appear process-oriented, but which have deep roots embedded in a wholly inadequate model of self-fulfillment and power. We are so focused on symptoms we become blind to the cause.

Immutable Virtues

In a world that values strength, power, sovereignty, and being on the side of "right," I'd like to make a bold claim: All people, communities and institutions must shift from the escalating cacophony of voices that polarize and consider a new way. Governments, schools, churches, families and individuals should hold the following four virtues as immutable: Compassion, Humility, Gratitude and Conscience.

When we look at these virtues, we have a sense of shrinking. We look at terrorism and wonder how it could ever be infused with Compassion. We observe divorce, and wonder how we might possibly return to Gratitude. These virtues seem elusive, and, frankly, a little soft and naïve. However, perhaps I can define them in ways that might reveal a view that is active, powerful and moving.

Compassion

It is the ability to identify with the suffering of others and a drive to alleviate that suffering. More specifically, it’s a desire to alleviate any suffering, which is different than the alleviation of all suffering. The alleviation of any suffering means committing to help anyone, inclusive of perhaps especially those who think, believe, act, or see the world differently. This does not mean you must adopt their beliefs or lifestyle. That is not being compassionate; that is being a chameleon. Compassion requires we get out of ourselves, out of our own way. It focuses our attention outward. It requires us to see suffering through the eyes of the sufferer. It requires we walk in someone else’s shoes. It requires vulnerability to be impacted by the experiences of another and to respond to your impulse to help, to do something to alleviate their suffering.

Compassion is love in action. It is proactive. It is fearless. It is usually inconvenient. It is not always friendly, or soft, or charming. It contains the great elements of love, forgiveness, unity, empathy, sympathy, altruism, charity, tolerance, inclusiveness, caring, equality, freedom, and benevolence.

Humility

It is the recognition we are a small part of a large whole. In addition, it is a commitment to new learning. Humility provides a broad context and creates a sense there's much more "out there" than we ever imagined. Humility is a view of earth from space, or the view of surrounding landscape from the top of a mountain.

Humility is an ever-expanding awareness of our own ignorance. The more we know, the more we know we don't know. Benjamin Franklin said a man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle. People have and respond to two fundamental fears: the fear of not having enough, and the fear of not being enough. Humility allows us the privilege of realizing enough is more than enough.

Humility will not let your ego get so close to your position that when your position goes down, your ego goes with it. Humility is inclusive, never exclusive. Humility looks hard for flaws in your own argument instead of in others. Humility is the overlooked and underestimated power behind cooperation and teamwork because it reduces or eliminates blame. Humility is an acknowledgment we've all made mistakes.

Knowledge without humility is arrogance. Power without humility is tyranny. Accomplishment without humility is pride. Fame without humility is egocentric. Politics without humility is self-aggrandizement. Government without humility is corruption. Marriage without humility is selfishness. Diversity without humility is hate. Communication without humility is misunderstanding. Learning without humility is ignorance. Authority without humility is coercion. Success without humility is temporary. Leadership without humility is misguided. Suffering without humility is discouragement. Parenting without humility is abusive. Loss without humility is envy. Status without humility is separation. People without humility are unbearable.

Gratitude

Gratitude is an acknowledgment of the goodness in our life, as well as a commitment to live and be happy right now - not to look back longingly on yesterday, and not to wait and focus forward on tomorrow. Gratitude brings an appreciation for what's ours. Much of happiness is centered in our finding joy in what we have, rather than sorrow or envy in what we don't. Gratitude stops or reduces the comparisons we make of others and ourselves - comparisons bound to build fences. The antonyms of gratitude are conflict, pain, discouragement, and envy.

Gratitude, like humility, recognizes what I have is what I need. It provides us a realistic perspective. After all, when I compare my problems with the problems of the other six billion people on earth, do I really have it so bad? Do I have food to eat when I want? Do I have shelter overhead and a bed to go to? Am I warm in the winter? Do I have clean clothes to wear? Do I have shoes on my feet? Is education available to my children and me? Is high-quality medical care readily available? If your answer is yes to all of these, you're lucky. Billions of people cannot answer these in the affirmative.

Conscience

It is the ability to make moral choices. And when I say "moral," I don’t mean it in the sense of some rigid morality. I mean "moral" in the sense a voice inside you is attempting to communicate right and wrong; it's telling you "I ought" or "I ought not," and you have an ability to follow its advice. Systems and families and people break down because they have ignored conscience.

Someone decides telling the truth is personally depreciative or financially unrewarding, so they lie instead. A manager learns someone in the company has an idea about how to resolve a major market issue, but the process would reduce the manager's internal visibility, so he fires or demotes him instead. Someone who has an appetite for power finds truth unappealing, so they manufacture their own instead. A hospital department head has a personality conflict with one of his doctors who has successfully run a free clinic for years and is adored by both staff and patients, so rather than "caving" to a contest of personalities, he terminates his contract. Someone skips school and does drugs instead. Someone ignores the promises they made to their spouse and has an affair instead. Someone realizes it is hard to earn, so they began to steal instead. Someone becomes jealous of the success or influence of another, so rather than support their success and learn something from it, they undermine them and talk poorly of them. Someone wants more money to buy all the conveniences they desired, so both spouses get jobs, develop careers, work long hours, and ignore their kids instead. Someone determines people and relationships are a waste of time, so they spend their resources in the accumulation of "things" instead. Someone is fearful of befriending people who think and look different than they do, so they hate, ignore, or mistrust them instead. Someone thinks reducing C02 emissions is expensive and inconvenient, so they ignore the problem and give it to their grandkids instead.

Each of these begins with just one person violating his conscience, which leads to a collective violation. One person builds the bridge of betrayal, and a hoarding swarm follows him over it. Conscience has such things as courage, truth, fairness, responsibility and justice as companions. Its antonyms are evil, immorality, and falsehood. Nothing is static. We are either progressing or regressing. A willful determination to follow your conscience leads to progression. A selfish decision to ignore it leads to regression.

Conclusion

Certainly I do not have all the answers. How do I claim to tell a poverty- or disease-stricken nation if they would just find Gratitude, all would be well? That is a difficult story to tell unless it is being told everywhere, and those who "have" feel not only gratitude, but compassion for those who "have not." How might Compassion, Humility, Gratitude and Conscience be invoked to shift the warring world? It is our responsibility to do the best we can with what we have. So, we strike out and set the mark as high as we're able. There is nothing new about these ideas. They are only reminders of what has proven true before. I believe they will be proven true again. Can we be advocates for the change we desire to see in the world?

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