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Nerd-Its
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blog (coffee shop)
by I mostly dislike gyms. The clientèle can be a bit rough (e.g., hot girls that distract and get mad when they distract you, tough dudes who don't pick fights, but don't really make you "feel the burn," etc.). Then there's the wet rubber, machine oil and that white powder crud. Plus, I've never felt particularly attached to the exercises provided in a modern gym. The equipment and its range of movement seem wildly contrived and mostly awkward given the known litany of common human activities. So, here is my idea for a new modern gym.
We don't know everything about humans, but we do know the basic movements we've undertaken based on our biological constraints to achieve certain tasks, like creating a shelter, hunting, muscling for rank, etc.
Many classical authors and texts give us hints and sometimes vast demonstrations of more traditional styles of honing ones physique or prowess. There are the martial arts, wielding us eons of colorful styles and techniques that prove interesting if not completely effective in the modern sense.
We have David, known as the western idea of male perfection who pretty much grew up wrestling and "lifting a rock over and over" for several years before being frozen in marble for ever. The Greek and Roman games provided all sorts of interesting results in the upper and lower man regions.
I'll get to the point. What we need is a good old fashioned wood, iron and stone gym. Totally trade marked, so step off.
Upon entering the manposium, one would be greeted with heavy medicine balls, large rope and obstacle courses, those peg walls with the holes and little pegs you climb up and down, simulated trees to climb, pits of sand to wrestle, and elevated platforms of various styles where you could spar with a partner, or even select a bokken, tonfa or bo staff from the wall to go a few rounds with an old friend.
Too nervous of your fighting acumen to jump right in? Our staff of trained instructors can assist you in the weapon class or sparring style of your choice. Graduate through levels! Achieve ranks! Fat l00t!
You could grab the pick axe and chip away at the big pile of granite (eye wear required), or shovel some heaping piles of clean burning coal substitute to fire the wet and dry steam rooms, all culled from natural products. Then afterwards, relax in the lounge with some chess, go, or backgammon to sharpen the mind in the library, aft the locker room.
Any interest here? Re-enacting the Wrath of Kahn on the elevated platform through a manlier version of non-red and blue American gladiators?
I've been thinking about it for a long time, and it is probably the ONLY gym to which I would ever belong long term. Enough styles and information and tasks to master to keep me involved a long time. And far away from the "this nautilus machine is so brain numbing I want to asplode" regular houses of ill repute.
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0 Nerd-Its
Traditional Martial Arts
Honestly, if you put this on a realistic budget, you have most traditional martial arts schools. In my travels, most of the dojos I go to all have the similar traditional equipment: bags and maki-wara, a mat somewhere (some encourage wrestling more than others...), a weighted staff for practicing upper body strength. Some more even have free weights, medicine balls, and other equipment similar your posted request.
I do, however, have to cite your folly: Why in the world would you go to a site known for people that spend time cultivating their brains to learn how to cultivate your body? Would you not be better suited asking a fit man or woman you know what they did to become who they are?
0 Nerd-Its
Fitness is a personal thing
Some folks like the meat locker. Some folks like to run for hours at a time. Some folks do martial arts. The closest thing to what you're describing, though, is CrossFit. Check it out. Its an interesting work out program - running, jumping, lifting, throwing, pulling, pushing, balance - and is diverse enough to stay interesting to some one with ADD.
0 Nerd-Its
Intimidation. Insurance. Women?
One of the first important things that would have to go away if a gym like this was to be successful, would be the feeling of intimidation that some men get, real or imagined when they walk into a gym. Some of the activities described might run the risk of having an “I am the king of the hill” type attitude spring up around them if not monitored carefully. In other words, the same psychology that permeates regular gyms might begin to happen here also.
I like the idea of this sort of gym because I live in the northeast and wintertime usually makes it difficult to do consistent exercise on your own without belonging to a regular gym, which can get boring after a while. Winter sports do not usually fall under the category of “a quick workout”, and when it begins to get dark at 4:00; outside activities are not desirable anyway. Plus, it’s cold. The social atmosphere that’s possible here would make it way more desirable than just having exercise equipment at home.
When I picture this gym in my imagination as you described it, I’m imagining a place that is absolutely huge. It would take a tremendous amount of capital to get going, and God knows what the insurance companies would charge when they got wind of it.
One of my father’s friends used to yell out the car window at people jogging, “Get a woodpile!!!” Maybe he should have started one of these.
As a sort of side question, what sort of activities would an “Ultimate Woman’s Gym” have in the same spirit of being different and interesting? Ironically I thought of this because one of the Google Ads on the sidebar as I was reading this article was for a woman’s fitness center.
0 Nerd-Its
Intimidation. Insurance. Women?
One of the first important things that would have to go away if a gym like this was to be successful, would be the feeling of intimidation that some men get, real or imagined when they walk into a gym. Some of the activities described might run the risk of having an “I am the king of the hill” type attitude spring up around them if not monitored carefully. In other words, the same psychology that permeates regular gyms might begin to happen here also.
I like the idea of this sort of gym because I live in the northeast and wintertime usually makes it difficult to do consistent exercise on your own without belonging to a regular gym, which can get boring after a while. Winter sports do not usually fall under the category of “a quick workout”, and when it begins to get dark at 4:00; outside activities are not desirable anyway. Plus, it’s cold. The social atmosphere that’s possible here would make it way more desirable than just having exercise equipment at home.
When I picture this gym in my imagination as you described it, I’m imagining a place that is absolutely huge. It would take a tremendous amount of capital to get going, and God knows what the insurance companies would charge when they got wind of it.
One of my father’s friends used to yell out the car window at people jogging, “Get a woodpile!!!” Maybe he should have started one of these.
As a sort of side question, what sort of activities would an “Ultimate Woman’s Gym” have in the same spirit of being different and interesting? Ironically I thought of this because one of the Google Ads on the sidebar as I was reading this article was for a woman’s fitness center.
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Where nerds meet the world's strongest men by Brandon :: NR9 :: Show
This gym reminds me of two things: nerds' obsession with sword fighting-like stuff, and the World's Strongest Man competition.
I think a gym like this would be difficult to manage, but not impossible. The issue would be in safety, and upkeep. For the user, on the the other hand, I think the experience would be a great one, and if I didn't have a free gym to use on the first floor of my office building, a gym like that would be the first I'd join. I am, after all, an "ultimate man." :)